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  Eulogy - The Great Santini

A splendid tribute from the children of a father loved -- a Marine, an
American, a patriot, a fighter pilot.

Dear friends, family and fellow Marines,

When Pat Conroy's father, Colonel Donald Conroy, USMC, died, Pat wrote the
following eulogy for his dad, the real-life Great Santini. It is a rather
stirring commentary, and if you liked the book and enjoyed Robert Duvall's
portrayal of this larger-than-life Marine fighter pilot on film, then you
may also enjoy reading the below text.
God bless and Semper Fi,
Frater Infinitas,

Santini's Eulogy
by Pat Conroy


The children of fighter pilots tell different stories than other kids do.
None of our fathers can write a will or sell a life insurance policy or fill
out a prescription or administer a flu shot or explain what a poet meant.
We tell of fathers who land on aircraft carriers at pitch-black night with
the wind howling out of the China Sea. Our fathers wiped out
anti-aircraft batteries in the Philippines and set Japanese soldiers on fire when they
made the mistake of trying to overwhelm our troops on the ground.

Your Dads ran the barber shops and worked at the post office and delivered
the packages on time and sold the cars, while our Dads were blowing up
fuel depots near Seoul, were providing extraordinarily courageous close air
support to the beleaguered Marines at the Chosin Reservoir, and who once
turned the Naktong River red with blood of a retreating North Korean
battalion. We tell of men who made widows of the wives of our nations'
enemies and who made orphans out of all their children.

You don't like war or violence? Or napalm? Or rockets? Or cannons or
death rained down from the sky? Then let's talk about your fathers, not
ours. When we talk about the aviators who raised us and the Marines who
loved us, we can look you in the eye and say "you would not like to have
been America's enemies when our fathers passed overhead". We were raised
by the men who made the United States of America the safest country on earth
in the bloodiest century in all recorded history. Our fathers made sacred
those strange, singing names of battlefields across the Pacific: Guadalcanal, Iwo Jima,
Okinawa, the Chosin Reservoir, Khe Sanh and a
thousand more. We grew up attending the funerals of Marines slain in
these battles. Your fathers made communities like Beaufort decent and
prosperous and functional; our fathers made the world safe for democracy.

We have gathered here today to celebrate the amazing and storied life of
Colonel Donald Conroy who modestly called himself by his nomdeguerre, The
Great Santini. There should be no sorrow at this funeral because The
Great Santini lived life at full throttle, moved always in the fast lanes,
gunned every engine, teetered on every edge, seized every moment and shook it
like a terrier shaking a rat. He did not know what moderation was or where
you'd go to look for it.

Donald Conroy is the only person I have ever known whose self-esteem was
absolutely unassailable. There was not one thing about himself that my
father did not like, nor was there one thing about himself that he would
change. He simply adored the man he was and walked with perfect
confidence through every encounter in his life. Dad wished everyone could be just like
him. His stubbornness was an art form. The Great Santini did what he
did, when he wanted to do it, and woe to the man who got in his way.

Once I introduced my father before he gave a speech to an Atlanta
audience. I said at the end of the introduction, "My father decided to go into the
Marine Corps on the day he discovered his IQ was the temperature of this
room." My father rose to the podium, stared down at the audience, and
said without skipping a beat, "My God, it's hot in here! It must be at least
180 degrees."

Here is how my father appeared to me as a boy. He came from a race of
giants and demigods from a mythical land known as Chicago. He married the
most beautiful girl ever to come crawling out of the poor and lowborn
south, and there were times when I thought we were being raised by Zeus and
Athena.After Happy Hour my father would drive his car home at a hundred miles an
hour to see his wife and seven children. He would get out of his car, a
strapping flight jacketed matinee idol, and walk toward his house, his
knuckles dragging along the ground, his shoes stepping on and killing
small animals in his slouching amble toward the home place.

My sister, Carol, stationed at the door, would call out, "Godzilla's
home!" and we seven children would scamper toward the door to watch his entry.
The door would be flung open and the strongest Marine aviator on earth would
shout, "Stand by for a fighter pilot!" He would then line his seven kids
up against the wall and say, "Who's the greatest of them all?"

"You are, O Great Santini, you are."

"Who knows all, sees all, and hears all?"

"You do, O Great Santini, you do."

We were not in the middle of a normal childhood, yet none of us were sure
since it was the only childhood we would ever have. For all we knew other
men were coming home and shouting to their families, "Stand by for a
pharmacist," or "Stand by for a chiropractor."

In the old, bewildered world of children we knew we were in the presence
of a fabulous, overwhelming personality; but had no idea we were being raised
by a genius of his own myth-making. My mother always told me that my
father had reminded her of Rhett Butler on the day they met and everyone who ever
knew our mother conjured up the lovely, coquettish image of Scarlet
O'Hara.

Let me give you my father the warrior in full battle array. The Great
Santini is catapulted off the deck of the aircraft carrier, Sicily. His
Black Sheep squadron is the first to reach the Korean Theater and American
ground troops had been getting torn up by North Korean regulars.

Let me do it in his voice:

"We didn't even have a map of Korea. Not zip. We just headed toward the
sound of artillery firing along the Naktong River. They told us to keep
the North Koreans on their side of the Naktong. Air power hadn't been a
factor until we got there that day. I radioed to Bill Lundin. I was his
wingman.'There they are. Let's go get 'em.' So we did."


I was interviewing Dad so I asked, "How do you know you got them?"

"Easy," The Great Santini said. "They were running-it's a good sign when
you see the enemy running. There was another good sign."

"What was that, Dad?"

"They were on fire."

This is the world in which my father lived deeply. I had no knowledge of
it as a child. When I was writing the book The Great Santini, they told me
at Headquarters Marines that Don Conroy was at one time one of the most
decorated aviators in the Marine Corps. I did not know he had won a
single medal. When his children gathered together to write his obituary, not one
of us knew of any medal he had won, but he had won a slew of them.

When he flew back toward the carrier that day, he received a call from an
Army Colonel on the ground who had witnessed the route of the North
Koreans across the river. "Could you go pass over the troops fifty miles south of
here? They've been catching hell for a week or more. It'd do them good
to know you flyboys are around." He flew those fifty miles and came over a
mountain and saw a thousand troops lumbered down in foxholes. He and Bill
Lundin went in low so these troops could read the insignias and know the
American aviators had entered the fray. My father said, "Thousands of
guys came screaming out of their foxholes, son. It sounded like a World Series
game. I got goose pimples in the cockpit. Get goose pimples telling it
forty-eight years later. I dipped my wings, waved to the guys. The roar
they let out. I hear it now. I hear it now."

During the Cuban Missile Crisis, my mother took me out to the air station
where we watched Dad's squadron scramble on the runway for their bases at
Roosevelt Road and Guantanamo. In the car, as we watched the F-4's take
off, my mother began to say the rosary. "You praying for Dad and his men,
Mom?" I asked her. "No, son, I'm praying for the repose of the souls of
the Cuban pilots they're going to kill."

Later I would ask my father what his squadron's mission was during the
Missile Crisis. "To clear the air of MIGS over Cuba," he said.

"You think you could've done it?"

The Great Santini answered, "There wouldn't have been a bluebird flying
over that island, son."

Now let us turn to the literary of The Great Santini. Some of you may
have heard that I had some serious reservations about my father's child-rearing
practices. When The Great Santini came out, the book roared through my
family like a nuclear device. My father hated it; my grandparents hated
it; my aunts and uncles hated it; my cousins who adore my father thought I was
a psychopath for writing it; and rumor has it that my mother gave it to the
judge in her divorce case and said, "It's all there. Everything you need
to know."

What changed my father's mind was when Hollywood entered the picture and
wanted to make a movie of it. This is when my father said, "What a shame
John Wayne is dead. Now there was a man. Only he could've gotten my
incredible virility across to the American people."

Orion Pictures did me a favor and sent my father a telegram; "Dear Col.
Conroy: We have selected the actor to play you in the coming film. He
wants to come to Atlanta to interview you. His name is Truman Capote."

But my father took well to Hollywood and its Byzantine, unspeakable ways.
When his movie came out, he began reading Variety on a daily basis. He
called the movie a classic the first month of its existence. He claimed
that he had a place in the history of film. In February of the following
year, he burst into my apartment in Atlanta, as excited as I have ever
seen him, and screamed, "Son, you and I were nominated for Academy Awards last
night. Your mother didn't get squat."

Ladies and gentlemen, you are attending the funeral of the most famous
Marine that ever lived. Dad's life had grandeur, majesty and sweep. We
were all caught in the middle of living lives much paler and less daring
than The Great Santini's. His was a high stepping, damn the torpedoes
kind of life, and the stick was always set at high throttle. There is not
another Marine alive who has not heard of The Great Santini. There's not
a fighter pilot alive who does not lift his glass whenever Don Conroy's name
is mentioned and give the fighter pilot toast: "Hurrah for the next man
to die."

One day last summer, my father asked me to drive him over to Beaufort
National Cemetery. He wanted to make sure there were no administrative
foul-ups about his plot. I could think of more pleasurable ways to spend
the afternoon, but Dad brought new eloquence to the word stubborn. We
went into the office and a pretty black woman said that everything was squared
away.

My father said, "It'll be the second time I've been buried in this
cemetery." The woman and I both looked strangely at Dad. Then he
explained, "You ever catch the flick, The Great Santini? That was me they
planted at the end of the movie."

All of you will be part of a very special event today. You will be
witnessing the actual burial that has already been filmed in fictional
setting. This has never happened in world history. You will be present
in a scene that was acted out in film in 1979. You will be in the same town
and the same cemetery. Only The Great Santini himself will be different.


In his last weeks my father told me, "I was always your best subject, son.
Your career took a nose dive after The Great Santini came out."

He had become so media savvy that during his last illness he told me not
to schedule his funeral on the same day as the Seinfeld Farewell. The
Colonel thought it would hold down the crowd. The Colonel's death was front-page
news across the country. CNN announced his passing on the evening news
all around the world.

Don Conroy was a simple man and an American hero. His wit was remarkable;
his intelligence frightening; and his sophistication next to none. He was
a man's man and I would bet he hadn't spent a thousand dollars in his whole
life on his wardrobe. He lived out his whole retirement in a two-room
efficiency in the Darlington Apartment in Atlanta. He claimed he never
spent over a dollar on any piece of furniture he owned. You would believe
him if you saw the furniture.

Dad bought a season ticket for himself to Six Flags Over Georgia and would
often go there alone to enjoy the rides and hear the children squeal with
pleasure. He was a beer drinker who thought wine was for Frenchmen or
effete social climbers like his children.

Ah! His children. Here is how God gets a Marine Corps fighter pilot. He
sends him seven squirrelly, mealy-mouth children who march in peace
demonstrations, wear Birken stocks, flirt with vegetarianism, invite
cross-dressers to dinner and vote for candidates that Dad would line up
and shoot. If my father knew how many tears his children had shed since his
death, he would be mortally ashamed of us all and begin yelling that he
should've been tougher on us all, knocked us into better shape--that he
certainly didn't mean to raise a passel of kids so weak and tacky they
would cry at his death. Don Conroy was the best uncle I ever saw, the best
brother, the best grandfather, the best friend, and my God, what a father.

After my mother divorced him and The Great Santini was published, Don
Conroy had the best second act I ever saw. He never was simply a father. This
was The Great Santini. It is time to leave you, Dad. From Carol and Mike and
Kathy and Jim and Tim and especially from Tom. Your kids wanted to
especially thank Katy and Bobby and Willie Harvey who cared for you
heroically

Let us leave you and say good-bye, Dad, with the passwords that bind all
Marines and their wives and their children forever. The Corps was always
the most important thing. Semper Fi, Dad. Semper Fi, O Great Santini.

God Bless America
Saepius Exertus, Semper Fidelis, Frater Infinitas
Often Tested, Always Faithful, Brothers Forever.
United States Marines